9 Ways to Handle Big Life Changes

Change, both positive and negative, is just as much a part of human life as oxygen is and happens more often the longer we live. Many of the big life changes that people seem to really struggle with ​are moving, divorce, becoming a parent, losing a loved one, career changes, loss of faith, living through a traumatic event, getting married, and changes in financial status.

While change can feel scary and overwhelming, knowing how to deal with it is one of the best ways to help yourself navigate through life. When we open ourselves up to change and embrace it, amazing things can happen as a result.

If you’ve experienced big life changes recently, know someone who has, or just want to get more in touch with yourself, then you’re in the right place.

Nine Healthy Ways to Cope With Change

1. Ground yourself with familiar things – If you’ve moved recently and you’re in a new state, or even a new house, try to find some pieces of your old routine to incorporate into your “new” life. Maybe that’s watching a favorite TV show or continuing to get pizza every Friday night, whatever brings you comfort, joy, and a semblance of normality into your life can help a lot with the transition of moving.

Human beings are creatures of habit and sometimes one of the best ways to create new habits and routines is by honoring parts of your old ones. If sleeping with rain sounds was something you did every night to fall asleep as a child, the first week of sleeping at a new home plug in those same rain sounds to soothe yourself!  

2. Know that your feelings are 100% valid – According to Dr Srini Pillay, an assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, when there’s change, “the conflict sensors in the brain become activated and this causes brain chaos that we call cognitive dissonance. This activation of the conflict sensor becomes stressful for people.” So you’re totally normal for feeling out of sorts when big or small changes happen in your life.

3. Don’t isolate yourself – It can be easy to let change push you into isolating yourself a bit, which isn’t always a bad thing, but make sure that you don’t reject social interactions, the possibility of making new friends, or leaning on people for support when things get rough. Whether you’ve moved, or someone close to you has passed away, human connection is something that we all need in our lives.

You’d be surprised with how much a friend can help during some of life’s biggest moments. You don’t need to be outward 24/7 but try not to become closed off or rush to completely start things over, especially your relationships. At the end of the day, having friends and family to talk to has never hurt. 

4. Know what you CAN control – How much time do you think we spend worrying about things out of our control? We all do it. Probably more than any of us would like to but that doesn’t have to be the case. Understand and focus on the things that you do have control over and start making changes where it makes sense to do so.

If you had to move due to a financial reason or a bad relationship, at least you can control how you want your new space to be decorated or how you’ll start your mornings. Honing in on the areas of our lives that we have control over is a huge step towards calming anxieties and being able to feel empowered in your own life. 

5. Practice self-care actively – Throughout any sort of change in your life, there will always be one constant thing – You. No matter what happens and where life takes you, you and only you, will always be there for the ride. Make sure that every step of the way you are making an effort to take care of yourself, to love and appreciate yourself. This will truly make all the difference.

When you transplant an indoor plant outside, there has to be TLC to make sure the transition goes smoothly. We as people are just the same and because of our unique differences we all need varying levels of TLC during transitory periods of time.

6. Be flexible – Learning how to accept the unpredictability of the world will help you deal with unexpected events in your own life. Letting go of expectations and restrictions in your life may make a new routine seem less scary, and even potentially exciting.

Try to keep an open mind with new experiences as things might not always go according to plan. Perhaps some will even become enjoyable to you in ways that you never expected or thought were possible. 

7. Know that everything will eventually pass – No matter what you’re going through, or what happens, it is likely not forever.   

You will become comfortable in your new situation and it won’t always feel upsetting or scary. Remind yourself that you’ve gotten through every tough time you’ve ever dealt with up until now and you can get through this too.

8. Acknowledge all the positives that have come from this change – Even if it’s tough to see, nothing is ever 100% bad. Maybe due to this change in your life you have met new people, maybe you started practicing healthier habits, or maybe you became more politically active.

Perhaps you have become more assertive and the change helped you prioritize what is most important in your life. Change presents us with the opportunity to grow and it’s important to acknowledge how things have become better as a result. Everything in life teaches us something. 

9. You will be okay – Even when you don’t feel like you will be, you will.

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