20 Pieces of Advice for People in Their 20’s (Part 2)
Your 20’s is an incredible time to be alive. Both incredibly wonderful and incredibly difficult, sometimes for the same reasons.
In our post last week, we listed 11 out of the 20 best pieces of advice we want to offer to the people we know in our 20’s and this week we are back to finish the list!
9 Things To Consider In Your 20’s (or anytime for that matter)
Finishing out the list we started last week…
12. Have standards, not expectations – Having expectations for your life and those in it will usually lead to heartache and disappointment. At the end of the day, not everyone has your heart, mind, or values.
Expecting people to act a certain way that is contrary to their nature will only cause you grief and resentment. People and events only let us down because of how we may have previously built them up in our heads. Our expectations are what gives things power over us. By understanding this and adjusting your expectations, you’ll save yourself a lot of disappointment.
13. Read at least one book a month – As you age, you’ll have more and more time for TV but use the energy and passion of your 20’s to read and explore a plethora of interests and things that are available to you.
Broaden yourself and your knowledge of things, learn about new fields you may have had no previous exposure to. This is such a great time in your life to take the opportunity to learn, how can you not be curious to learn more?
14. Never be afraid to ask a stupid question, it’s almost always not as stupid as you think – Because your 20’s are a learning season it is important to ask others about things that they may have more experience than you in. How can you understand something better if you don’t ask?
15. Learn to negotiate and don’t feel bad about asking for what you’re worth – Negotiating your starting salary and continuing to negotiate every few years or when you start a new job could make a $1 million difference in your lifetime earnings.
If you’re worried about botching your first salary negotiation, make sure to do your research so you get a sense of the standard salary for your position. And remember that salary isn’t the only thing you can negotiate — you can also ask about things like performance bonuses, equity options, health insurance premiums, 401(k) matches, and help relocating for the job.
16. Learn the delicate balance between always being grateful, but never being complacently content – If you want to achieve great things in life, it is important for you to keep pushing long after you feel like giving up. If you want to live a happy life, one key is to be grateful for what you have. Practice the ability to look around and count your blessings no matter how small.
At first, these two things may seem like they contradict each other. After all, how can I want more than what I have but still be grateful for what I already possess? Yes, pretty hard. These are two concepts that don’t naturally coexist, but the only way to live a full life is to master that balance. To understand how to push yourself to achieve the goals you desire, but also be able to step back and cherish all that you’ve already done.
17. Don’t give up on yourself – The one thing all successful people have in common is they never, ever give up. You never know how close you are to the next opportunity or the next breakthrough – so keep grinding.
The most wildly successful people are not geniuses or prodigies, they’re just regular people who work incredibly hard and refuse to give up on what they want, even when every single odd was stacked against them and to keep going is unbearably difficult.
18. Keep it moving with your career – Your parents may have had the same job for 20 years, but you might not. Certainly do not burn bridges and be sure you’ve made an impact at any company you’ve been at, but be ok to leave when a new opportunity presents itself that offers you a chance for personal growth and education beyond the current.
You can’t bring emotions to the table unless you are vested in your employer. If you don’t have shares, remember you’re a line item on that company’s expenses. If you are learning a ton where you are valuable to the team and feel underpaid let them know. You must be assertive if you want monetary upgrades. Your 20’s present a unique opportunity to experience many different types of organizations and discover the types of teams you work best with and the employers that value you most.
19. Forgive yourself – Forgive yourself. Kicking yourself over past failures won’t change what happened, it will just leave you sore from being kicked so much. Own who you have been, so it doesn’t own you.
This really applies to all ages, but it’s a skill that takes a while to develop so you might as well start young and really figure it out. I haven’t met many people under twenty who have taken it to heart, but I have found several people in their twenties who are really starting to get it. I’ve also met people in their 80’s and 90’s who still don’t get it and are filled with regrets.
We need to learn to love the flawed, imperfect things that we create, and to forgive ourselves for creating them. Regret shouldn’t remind us that we did badly, it should remind us that we have learned and know we can do better.
20. Learn to appreciate and acknowledge a moment as it’s happening – I honestly don’t know if there is anything more magical than to cherish a moment as it’s happening. Learning to appreciate the moments before they become memories is a powerful thing. It could be a trip, a story, a sunset, or a person.
The moment may last a second, a day, or a year. But when you understand its significance in your life while it is still going on, it allows you to enjoy it in a completely different way, on a higher level. The truth is, some moments will only be important in retrospect, but the ones you connect to as they are happening, when you look around and think ‘if this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is’ on that higher level, those stay with you forever.
You will be okay, even when you don’t think or know if you will be. You still have so much time to figure everything out, don’t worry yourself too much with trivial concerns, bad friends, or cheap food.
Create a community around yourself, embrace your natural beauty, and never stop dreaming and pushing yourself.
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